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 Title: Enduring Time Author: Su Freund Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama Content Level: Age 13+ Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala Season: Future Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending" Summary: Being alone sucks... Sequel/Series Info: Continuation from Chapter 11 of Enduring Time and sequel series to Unending Time Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright 2008 Su Freund Author's notes: Thanks very much to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story for me. Her advice and suggestions help me a lot! And thanks to all of you who are reading and enjoying this series, and letting me know that. Your feedback encourages and prompts my muse. :-) Enduring Time: Chapter 12 Previously: Teal'c bowed to his friends and family, asking forgiveness for leaving so peremptorily, and stalked off, led by the two airmen with torches, and holding Sam with tender care and attention. She murmured and stirred slightly a few times, but did not awaken. Although she seemed to weigh increasingly more as they walked, Teal'c refused to show his discomfort and insisted on carrying her all the way home. Not far, but far enough for an old Jaffa, he thought regretfully, realizing that age and frailty were not confined to his human guest. When they reached his cabin, the two men followed him in to light the way, lighting some candles in his living space and bedroom. They watched as he gently laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. Then he politely dismissed them, and remained standing over his sleeping friend watching the rise and fall of her breath. For one brief moment back at Ry'ac's, he had been alarmed, thinking she might have passed on, and Teal'c needed to ensure she was all right. Having sat in a chair to watch for a long time, stirred by memories of the bed they had shared for so many years, he got up and kissed her forehead. Tenderly, he swept her hair away from it with his surprisingly light touch, and left her to sleep alone - but he was wishing it did not have to be that way. The story continues: Upon waking next morning, the comfort of the bed and coziness of the room surprised Sam, and belied Teal'c's words about his humble home. The bed was not exactly like the comfy mattresses back home, but it had been more than enough to allow her to sleep soundly. The activities of the previous day had exhausted her, so she probably could have slept almost anywhere. Realizing she was still fully clothed, Sam tried to remember leaving the party and returning to Teal'c's cabin, but could not. Then she seemed to recall she might have fallen asleep there. Oh my, what an embarrassment! She really was an old woman. That seemed unfair because her heart still felt so young. Sam recalled talking to Mike, and she tried to recollect the conversation, relieved at remembering almost every word. Not so old then, or not mentally anyway. Mike seemed thrilled by the invitation to visit her in Minnesota, although Sam could not imagine why such a young man would want the company of an elderly, doddering woman. Perhaps because Jack was one of his heroes, go figure. He would probably lap up any morsel she cared to divulge about her husband. It could be good to talk about the old days and Jack with someone who had not been there and was curious. Perhaps it was time to write those memoirs, she thought, chuckling to herself at the notion. Sam remembered telling Mike he would have to invite the young woman he longed for if he expected to visit. Perhaps she was putting undue pressure on the man, but she could not help but feel he should take his chance, and anything that might spur him on must be a good thing. What was the point of making mistakes unless you learn something from them, whether they be your mistakes or someone else's? Though she realized people generally have to make their own mistakes and rarely learn from those of others - or even their own. Sam wished they would, so it did not hurt to try did it? Slowly, she sat up and looked around the room to study it more closely. Like the living area of his cabin, Teal'c's bedroom was simple. As well as the practical fur and plain fabric hanging on the walls, the room contained storage; home made cabinets with drawers. She thought them quite attractive in their simplicity. Candles covered virtually every surface, as was Teal'c's habit. Briefly, Sam wondered if he missed television and the other more sophisticated trappings he was used to on Earth. Probably not. He seemed happy with his lot in life, the minimalism and back to basics lifestyle. The whole family appeared to be content, and Teal'c glad to be surrounded by them even though he lived alone. She wondered about the latter, however, and thought she might ask him about that. Getting up, she stretched to galvanize her weary old bones and muscles. Sam could hear Teal'c pottering around next door and she thought it was time to go and join him. Then she noticed something that surprised her even more than the cozy embrace of the room. By the bed, Teal'c had what might be called a nightstand. Perched on top amongst the ubiquitous candles, was the photograph of her and Jack she had given Teal'c before he left Minnesota. Sam picked it up, sitting down again on the plain wooden chair next to the bed and staring at it for a long time, longingly reminiscing about her husband, as she did so frequently. Holding the glass to her lips, she kissed his image and then hugged it to her breast, wishing he were with her now, and always. No doubt, it would ever be thus. She remembered returning home from their honeymoon. After many jokes about Antarctica, Alaska and Iceland, or other cold places, Jack surprised Sam by whisking her away for a lazy and luxurious beach holiday in Hawaii. Sun, hot white sand and gloriously blue sea, water sports, food, and lots of sex - as much as they could fit into their busy, while also relaxing, schedule. That was quite an amazing couple of weeks, and neither of them wanted to return to reality. They flew into DC to stay at Jack's, with a couple of days to spare before they had to separate again for their respective jobs. Both dreaded that separation and wanted to make the most of the short time they still had together. As was the way of things in their line of work, they did not know when they might get the chance to spend a few days in each other's company again. Grumbling about his poor old knees, and making her giggle incessantly, Jack insisted on sweeping Sam off her feet to carry her over the threshold, pulling her into his arms on the other side of his door for a stupendous kiss, which quickly stopped her laughter. "There's nothing funny about my dilapidated knees," he said with a smirking frown as he pulled back from the kiss. "I never noticed you had that much of a problem," she replied with a lascivious expression, recalling his athleticism when it came to lovemaking. "Right, I get it," he said with an equally lewd look. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he pushed her back and turned toward the door to pull in their luggage. Then he left it in the hall and took her hand, leading her to the bedroom. "You'll kill me," he commented with a grin, as his nimble fingers unbuttoned her blouse. "Not if you kill me first," she responded, groping his crotch. He drew in a ragged breath, a slight moan on his lips. "I'll do my best." "By all means keep trying." "Every opportunity I get, Mrs. O'Neill. I kind of like being married to a sex maniac." She laughed. "I'm the sex maniac?" "I'm getting past it." "That's what you think!" Jack waggled his eyebrows and grinned, removing the rest of her clothing in double quick time and maneuvering her to the bed without so much as another word. His dilapidated knees seemed to stand up to the test exceedingly well. Her husband was far from being a selfish lover. Sam's experiences had led her to believe that way too many men were, but not Jack, or rarely. Most of the time, he went out of his way to ensure she enjoyed it. He seemed to get more satisfaction from doing so. For Jack, it wasn't simply about sex, but all the other things that surrounded the sexual act. Rarely did he slide off her afterwards and just go to sleep, a male habit Sam had found irksome in the past. Jack, however, took immense pleasure from both the foreplay and the aftermath, as well as the in between - holding and caressing her, and whispering in her ear. And she loved returning this affection. That night in DC, the sex was as impassioned as the foreplay, fast and furious rather than slow and tender. This did not mean Sam failed to enjoy it just as much, far from it. Fiery intensity is exciting and fun. The post-coital activity that followed, however, was as leisurely and loving as it could come, which served to enhance their feelings of fulfillment. They were both silent and at peace for a long time, and the only reason they knew each other were still awake was because the light touch of fingertips continued to languidly caress bare flesh. "I never thought I'd get here, Sam," Jack whispered. Her head was snuggled into his neck, and she did not move it to look at his face. "You mean married?" she asked, seeking clarity. "Yeah. After Sara, I never believed it would be possible again. When she left me, it hurt like hell. My fault, but that didn't stop it hurting. I thought I would never stop hurting. Charlie, Sara... I lost everything I cared about, everything that had kept me sane and human." Sam felt a pang of jealousy about his ex-wife. She realized it was unreasonable, but reason is not always easy. As Jack rarely spoke about his wife, or Charlie, Sam figured she should just take his words for what they were; a need to talk, to confide. Normally, when Jack did that, she did everything to encourage his confidence because she appreciated that the private and guarded man she loved did not open up lightly or for no reason. She also treasured that he did so with her when things might have been very different, even though she was his wife. Sam reasoned it was natural to feel jealous of a man's ex. She knew Jack had been happy with Sara for many years and, if Charlie had not died, she had no doubt they would still be married. Jack was that kind of man. He had loved his wife dearly, loved his marriage, his son, the whole package. That was Sam's problem right there. She knew some little part of Jack's love for his ex had never died. Although he claimed to be at fault, he had not initiated the break-up. Probably he never would have, even though he had deliberately distanced himself from Sara after Charlie died. This was how he coped, how he mourned. It had nothing to do with his love for his wife, although Sam was not sure Sara had truly understood that. From Sara's perspective, Jack had withdrawn and failed to support her when she needed him most. This withdrawal was the final act in destroying their marriage, although the death of a child is a common cause of break-up in those circumstances. However, Sam had seen them together only a year or so after they had split up, and she saw how they both felt then. It was obvious they cared deeply for one another. She figured they could have healed in time, if Jack had tried. He hadn't tried. If she knew her husband, he had probably feared trying, dreading failure as well as believing he deserved whatever punishment he got. So he had not welcomed it, but he accepted his fate. If the break-up had been acrimonious from Jack's point of view, then things might have been different. As it stood, Sam knew he still held Sara in his heart and soul. She had no doubt that her husband loved her, but she resented and envied the kernel of love for his ex that remained. If she confessed this to Jack, he would probably tell her she was being foolish. It was not something she wanted to risk admitting, or not yet, and she certainly did not want to discourage him from talking about his marriage and son if he felt so inclined. Trying to brush off her jealousy, therefore, she kissed his neck and gave him a supportive squeeze. "I didn't think I could ever risk love again," he continued. "It was too painful and I didn't have the stomach for it. But you came along." He paused to run his fingers down her spine and then shifted position so he could look into her eyes. Sam opened her mouth to say something and he held a finger to her lips to stop her, wanting to finish what he had started before she spoke. "I think I was still in love with Sara when we met, but then I started to fall for you. I was attracted to you from early on, but that isn't the same thing. It took me a long time to realize I was falling, Sam, but I fell good and hard. Something always stood between us, and it wasn't just the regs. I couldn't let myself go, I couldn't go there again. Or that's what I thought when I let myself think at all. You know me. I try to avoid thinking altogether. It makes my brain hurt." He grinned and she giggled, but said nothing, simply meeting his gaze with what she hoped was a reassuring expression. "Now..." he said, "I don't know how I waited so long for this. I should have retired years ago and gone for it." "You wouldn't have been happy doing that," she said, speaking up for the first time since he had started. "And we needed you, Jack - the SGC, SG-1. We weren't ready for this, neither of us." He looked thoughtful, seemingly rolling her words around in his mind and considering. "Maybe. But there were many times when I did need exactly this. Maybe I forgot what I was missing, but being alone sucks." "I know," she agreed with a small nod and wistful smile, although she had never understood what she was missing, not until she started sharing her life with Jack. This was a new experience for Sam. Her previous long term relationships with Pete and Jonas had not prepared her. With Jack, it was entirely different. They lapsed into silence again, settling into each other's arms, and Jack's soft and steady breathing lulled Sam. His eyes were closed but his fingertips kept moving over her bare skin, so she knew he was awake, and she watched his peaceful face, thoughts remaining on Sara. Finally, she plucked up courage to probe about one of the issues at the forefront of her mind. "I always wondered why you never got back with Sara." Jack opened his eyes, snapping his head back to look at her and appearing surprised by the comment. His pause prompted her to continue. "You said you still loved her after you broke up, so why didn't you try?" "If that's what she had wanted, she wouldn't have divorced me." He sounded so certain that the words gave Sam pause to consider whether she had been wrong, but she decided she was not. "You know that's not true," she said earnestly. "I don't think you even believe it yourself." "What are you, a mind reader?" Surprised and troubled by what he detected in Sam's tone, his manner seemed slightly snippy and defensive. He stopped caressing her with his fingers, and that bothered Sam. Instead of getting upset about it, though, she softly started to trace her index finger over the contours of his face. Not sure how to read his reaction, she wondered briefly whether to press on or not, but went for it. 'Why the heck not?' she thought, realizing she might not get another opportunity for a while. "Jack, I saw you together, remember? It was so obvious she still cared about you and you about her." Jack half smiled at her, leaning into her fingertip slightly, and sighing. "Sure, we cared. You don't just stop caring about someone you loved. But it was too late for us. Our time had passed." He studied her face carefully, placing his hand over hers on his face and grasping it gently to make a point. "Does it bother you? Me and Sara? That I was married before, had another life, another family?" "Sometimes," she replied reluctantly. He was forcing her to confess her fears, confront them. This was not what she wanted to happen, but Sam figured she asked for it by persisting with the subject. "I love you," he said, sensing hesitation and unease and speaking in a quiet, reassuring tone. He continued to clutch her hand, moving it to nestle in his against his chest. "I don't want anyone but you." Sam found the rise and fall of his chest against her hand as reassuring as his words, but still picked him up on what he was telling her, curious to hear his response. "But you still love her, don't you?" He stared at her for a while, uncertain how to respond and biting his bottom lips fretfully. Then he managed to find what he hoped were the right words of reassurance. "Not in any way you should worry about. For crying out loud, Sam, this is what I've wanted for a very long time now - us! It will always be you. That's why I regret waiting so long, that's what I started out to say. I guess I led myself astray. I shouldn't have mentioned Sara. I just wanted you to know you make me happy. I never thought I'd get that again." "Oh, Jack," she replied, leaning closer to peck him on the lips. "I suppose I just envy all those years she got with you, all that time you loved her. It's stupid, isn't it? Irrational?" "Not irrational," he replied with a small smile as his thumb traced over the back of her hand. "Sara will always hold a special place in my heart, and if she was in trouble and needed me I'd help her. You understand that, don't you? But you're my wife, the woman I'm in love with. I chose you... this." Suddenly he let go of her hand and allowed his to dance in the air in a wild gesticulation at nothing in particular. "Your place in my heart is in the here and now, and the future, not in the past. We'll get our years." Sam smiled softly and gave him another squeeze, hoping he was right about those years. The more the better as far as she was concerned. "I love you, Jack, and I don't want you to stop talking about Sara just because you think it makes me uncomfortable. I like you telling me about your past, learning new things about you, how you feel." "We're gonna have one hell of a marriage, Sam," he commented with a grin, kissing along her jaw and over her cheek, and then her lips and mouth with increasing passion. "One hell of a marriage?" she said when the kissing stopped and he was caressing her naked back. "Yeahsureyabetchya!" Smiling, Jack kissed her forehead, nuzzling his lips into it before whispering softly. "I hope I make you as happy as you'll make me." "I'm staking my life on that." Their conversation descended back into silence, and it was then that Jack started to drift off into a doze, holding her in his arms, and Sam closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off with him. Saddened by memories of Jack and how lonely she was now he was gone, she found herself cheered by the notion of going fishing with Teal'c. The act of fishing reminded her of her husband, but what did not? The salving peace of casting a line and waiting for a fish to bite or not, with the tranquil Teal'c by her side, might be just the diversion she needed. She hoped he felt as rested as her, that he had not suffered an uneasy night because she had usurped his rightful place in his comfortable bed. Replacing the photo on the nightstand, Sam determinedly thrust thoughts of her husband from her mind and went to join her old friend, hoping she could help with any chores that needed completing before they set off for the lake. TBC |